Saturday, September 09, 2006

Traffic in Kuwait

I found this on a hasher site for foreigners who intend to know Kuwait before they come over for work or visit... Check this out, it's quite amusing but ALL true, unfortunately.

"Traffic Rules in Kuwait:-

1. Right of way

Right of way belongs to the vehicle which has it’s bumper 5cm ahead of another, irrespective of whether approaching from the left or right.

2. The Kuwait scissors

When in 3 lanes of traffic, all traffic wishing to turn right should occupy the left hand lane and vice versa. One must then wait until the last possible moment before crossing the other two lanes at right angles to the traffic flow, to do so too early is to lose face.

3. Overtaking

There are four ways to get past the car in front; to the left, to the right, over the top and underneath, also known as undertaking.

4. The weave

Never hold a steady speed in one lane. You can gain as much as 20 meters over a distance of 10 kilometers by continuously swerving from one lane to another whilst invoking rules 1 and 10. The minimum speed for this maneuver is 150kph.

5. Right of way (buses)

Buses do not have right of way; they just take it. Bus horns are frighteningly louder than any others. There are some official boarding and alighting points but the buses will drop off and/or pick up passengers at any place, any time, in traffic, provided that the passenger is sufficiently fleet of foot and oblivious to the threat of traffic flowing around him.

6. Pedestrians

These may cross the road when, where, and however they wish. Be they old, young, agile or decrepit, they have the right to step into the traffic and dodge, dance or merely stolidly move across. However, motorists are encouraged to do their best to hit them, preferably at speed. (Even on the pavement) Motorist should note that most motorway bridges are 1000m apart and that pedestrians will cross at 500m intervals.

7. Traffic lights

There are nine possible combinations of traffic lights in use in Kuwait, they being; red, amber, green, red plus amber, red plus green, green plus amber, red plus green plus amber, flashing amber, and all off. Any selection of these can be found on any one set of traffic lights. The meanings of the various arrangements are not known, but if crossing when the lights are red (or any other combination) and you see a car crossing in front of you, make sure you hit it squarely in the side, if possible, at speed.

8. U-turns

These are used for changing direction and carriageway. If possible try not to pull out if a car is going past in the outside lane of the carriageway you want to pull into. If you are in a hurry, the somersault and roll method is a quicker way of achieving the same result, but avoid the lamp posts in the central reservation.

9. Parking
a) Short term: If you need to, just double or treble park, after all the traffic CAN get around you.

b) Long term: Park alongside a yellow and black curb. If you are lucky the police will fit the car with an anti-theft device or tow it to a secure car park. There is however a standard charge for these services.

10. Mirrors

These are not, contrary to popular belief, for looking for vehicles behind you, but are for grooming, adjusting gutrah’s & seeing where the parsley is stuck to your teeth."

Too bad we gave them that impression. =/


CyberRowdy said...

yeah, I wonder why people generalise...not all Kuwaiti dudes are like that...not all expats are like that...very few plonkers give out negative impression.

but I always wonder why people eat sandwiches, drink hot coffee and read news papers(wide open)....smoke and drive as if they are relaxing on a couch....they are endangering not just their lives, ours too...

The Criticizer said...

LOL @ the last part! xD

I really cannot deny how bad traffic is in Kuwait. Recently I've noticed that even foreigners had to fit themselves with our traffic and drive like they're in war zone. I don't really blame them, that's how it is in here. If they don't drive like that they wouldn't even have a chance to reach point B alive. =/

I remember listening to the Breakfast Show on 99.7 RKFM oneday and Linda, the program hostess, mentioned that when she got back to the US she was unable to drive like normal people because she got used to driving in Kuwait and she added "I hated it when I first had to drive in Kuwait but then after a while I got used to it and now I cannot drive without being hyper as all Kuwaiti drivers"

We're infectious. =P